Thursday, March 26, 2009

It's Okay To Cry

Any kind of loss-be it disappointment,setback,the ending of something,any kind of parting,break-up with a partner and death of someone close-warrants proper grieving.The truth is we need time to grieve and heal.We can't get over something quickly,we can only move on progressively.

Moving on does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean shutting out from memory what has happened.It is not the burying of the past and carrying on with life, because it is humanly impossible to forget significant occurences in one's life.What is significant for one need not be for another and one of the most damaging ways to ask a person to 'move on' is to dilute the significance of occurence.Trivialising occurences, however inconsequential they may be, is not the best way to help another cope.

But why most of us do this? Because we are ill at ease with emotions and to most, grief has been defined as a bad and negative emotion. With these ideas, people become afraid to emote, and grief becomes something to be embarrassed or ashamed of.

"Grief is not depression.It is sadness, which is healthy and appropriate. In sadness, people appraise their loss and comprehend the disadvantages that accrue. So a person who brought pleasure to your life and who is now no more, may bring some barrenness for you. You will miss him, be sentimental about the good times and reminisce about the bonds you shared."

"Grieving is the human beings innate mechanism to restore emotional balance following separation of a loved one.As the emotional rheostat gets disturbed and is in turmoil, a natural process of weeping and sharing begins. This continues for at least a month. This tune of the mind, if blocked, can explode elsewhere in the body. As wound heals, any method to accelerate or delay it, is harmful. Unexpected separation and death of loved ones, such as a child or young adult, may take longer, look for depression, which may need treatment."

That's why i m saying that-

"Its OKAY to CRY"

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Live Outside The Box

Most of the world likes to play it safe. They go to their safe jobs, come home to their safe relationships, they drive safe cars, they invest money in safe corporations, they invest money in safe corporations, they think safe thoughts, and they want nothing more than to feel safe and secure. Survival of the fittest dictates that these people live another day and therefore get to breed and would make up the majority of the population. We could say that they play it smart. But there is another kind, too. This other group lives for thrills. They don’t just occasionally think outside the box, they actually prefer to live outside the box. This is a group who thrives on adventure, change, and newness. They love innovative new ideas, they like to explore new things, and push the envelope beyond its capabilities. They are the visionaries who perceive something beyond where we stand today.

This group often does not feel understood not supported by the mainstream population. They are not rebels, although they are often accused of being rebellious because they do not embrace the status quo. This group is not anti-anything. They do not define themselves by not being a member of someone else’s group. They do not require group consensus to be who they are. Young adults often think that by dressing badly or by misbehaving that they are somehow brave and different from whatever it is that they are opposing, but that is just anger turned inside out. Most of the time they are not accomplishing anything by simply making a mess of their lives. They are not making a point, they are not changing the world, they are simply behaving in a manner that causes people to shun them. That is not the group I am talking about today. This group is made up of people like Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi, Nikola Tesla, Susan Ba Anthony, Melissa Etheridge, Nelson Mandela, and countless others who do not strive to be different nor to go against the mainstream beliefs. They simply are different, they think different, they think different, they live different, and they make passionate choices to contribute something meaningful to humanity despite the fact that others oppose them. All of these people stand tall despite the chaos and anger of those surrounding them. “Why can’t you just leave well enough alone? Why do you always have to push people too far? Why can’t you just get along?”

Those who would keep things safe and comfortable become frightened and angry at these innovative new thinkers. They torment them, threaten them, mistreat them, ostracize them, and create a storm of ugliness to try and stop these people from simply sharing the gifts of their hearts that they were born to share with humanity. Years later, often after generations can look back in hindsight and see their bravery as admirable. But in the moment, these people are historically treated terribly. These people are typically men and women of peace who do not go out with an angry rebellious need to stir up trouble. They fight for higher ideals because in their heart of hearts they truly believe that things could be better for mankind. They hold a vision of better things to come and they follow that vision wherever it takes them. Today there are millions of people who would change the world with their beautiful open minded hearts and their incredibly brilliant minds, especially the upcoming teenagers and young adults in their early twenties. They feel that there is no point in even trying because the current political and cultural environment is so against them. I would be lying if I claimed that what you see as extreme hostility towards change was not at a peak right now. You are right. They do not want to change again, but you are right, it is time for another change and you are right, it is time for another change and you are the ones to help bring it. Do not be afraid of the backlash. Stand tall and do what you know in your heart is right and just for all, not just what benefits a chosen few. You know that ignorance can no longer rule the people. You know that blind obedience is no longer a viable option.

To you I say, meet me in the eye of the storm and together we will steer this mess in another direction. Jump into the storm. Do not stand on the sidelines too lazy and scared to do anything about all of the ugliness going on around you. Jump into the storm. Swim and fight you way to the center of the vortex. There we will sit together in the quiet and find the solutions. Until we embrace the eye of the storm and really see what is at the root of humanity’s hatred of each other, we will never find a long-term solution that creates real peace and equality for everyone. We need to heal our planet, our bodies, and the spiritual hearts of our species. People say that the signs are all here and Armageddon has begun. Why save the planet if the savior is coming to take the good and holy people away to a better place? Since we are not going to be here much longer we may as well fry it on our way out. How selfish to assume that you god will come carry you off to heaven, therefore you do not have to care for the people and planet that are going to be left in the wake of you final choices. Who is to say that is no the ultimate test of who stays and who gets to ascend to a better place? If you had to pick and choose who were truly worthy of burning in hell or going to heaven, would you pick the folks who were killing and raging war in the name of god or would you pick the people who were crying out for love, equality, and to save the planet?

I stand here in the eye of the storm, turmoil and war all around me, my heart quiet and strong. The vision is very clear here. I will do my part to save the planet for the sake of those left behind. It is not for me to say who should or should not prevail. Someone will be left standing here on this water, with this soil. For them, I say let’s create a plan so that they have the best possible chance of rebuilding a new world. For love of this place with its beaches, mountains, and forests that I love so much, I will hold the love of Mother nature in my heart. You know, if the savior comes to haul all the good guys off to a better place, I think I will volunteer to stay behind to help make this battered planet a place of beauty one more. When you are done with your are done with your religious wars and your ascensions into heaven, give the planet back to those of us who care for her and please do not come back. Embrace the eye of the storm, for the vision is very clear here.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Nature of true development

Self-analysis changes the life. A man constructed a splendid house. Friends who came were delighted.The rooms on the ground floor were large and well-decorated They saw the first floor, the second floor and the third floor also. They observed that the upper floor rooms were simpler.

Friends asked, "Where do you reside?" He replied, "I live on the third floor and my servants live on the ground floor." They were astonished, "What a strange situation, the master resides in simple rooms and servants live in well-furnished rooms!" The owner clarified that there was a time when his own mother was also a servant. His mother had lived a tough life and she had to eke out a living as a house help. He knew therefore that servants, after having to work hard all day, deserved at least some comfort.

What are the hurdles that vitiate the simplicity and dignity of life ruthlessly? Contemplation of hurdles will pave the way to change our lifestyle. Deception is a hurdle. In that state, solutions will not be workable. Problems will follow and continue. Faith begets faith and deception generates deception. In cunningness, first of all man assumes others to be wicked. He will talk sweetly in front of others and backbite later. Deception is the biggest encumbrance to attaining liberation.

The second hurdle is desire. To have desire is natural but to have endless desires is not. Today's economist declares that when we feel content our development will stop.Ultimately development also has to be categorically defined and limited. A single man perpetuates development till he economically and geographically makes an empire for himself. This cannot be termed as development. This will be tanta-mount to an injustice, atrocity, exploitation and cruelty towards humanity. Development ought to be in the correct perspective.

Is development spreading out, extending to the whole cosmos? Acharya Somasundar has said in the Sindur Prakaran that if a man is gentle, virtuous, and does everything virtuously and ethically then even if he is not doing well monetarily, it is fine. On the other hand, if someone makes a huge pile of money by fraudulent means, it spells disaster.

When a man is thin, he looks handsome and graceful. When his body becomes obese, then his future is not good. Doctors agree that if one is thin and lean then he will live comfortably and have longevity.

The membership of the Mayo Club, USA, is restricted to only those who have attained a hundred years of age. A person from that club observed that so far all club members happen to be thin and lean. A thin man can move, sit and stand comfortably. Sometimes fat is not favourable to good health.The gist of development is not only expansion but also limited growth. Today we are unable to find solutions because the interpretation of development by economists is causing difficulties. Yesterday a man said, "You said in the discourse that there has to be some limitation or boundary, then how can development take place?" If somebody really lags behind in the race, then he will be the most fortunate man in the world. Where are such lucky people? Where is such sacrificing capacity? Everybody is running, without knowing where this competitive race will terminate.

In the field of self-development, we can be limitless but there we have clearly limited ourselves. When the outlook becomes false, limitless desires crop up. A peaceful and tension-free life is threatened by three encumbrances, namely, false outlook, limitless desires and deception.